Sometimes we find ourselves in need of a serious, spiritual pep talk.

We often need to be reminded of the great love God has for us.

Sometimes my soul is so severely battered, I need to hear what He sees when He looks at me.

That I am beautiful….that I am so valuable….so incredibly favored and cherished.

It’s the healing balm so many of us need from time to time.

Those words and thoughts make us like well-watered plants: bright, healthy, and thriving.

But I’ve been challenged lately with the fact that the Lord never wants us to LIVE there.  

He doesn’t want me to get stuck on just loving myself.  He knows that no matter how skewed my view of myself is, I can never stop loving ME. 

It’s never been a problem!

God doesn’t want me getting hung up on how I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”.

Rather, He wants us to get caught up in the One who is Fearful and Wonderful.

I don’t want to only think about how precious, beautiful, or worthy to be loved I am.

But I  DO want to think about the Worthy Lamb, the Beautiful One, the Great I Am!

When I read His Word, I’d love to stop asking, “What does this have to say about ME?“, and instead wonder what it has to say about JESUS.

I also really and truly believe that when we live our lives in awe and wonder of who God is, we will never have to “think” of ourselves again.  He will properly align all of our thoughts FOR us!

When scripture tells us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, ” that tells me He wants it ALL!   

He’s jealous for ALL of us, all the time, forever and ever.

Some people say the bible is God’s love letter to us.  I don’t know if Im overly sensitive about the whole “self” issue, but I think that’s only partially true.  It is the Gospel, from start to finish.  It is a story ALL ABOUT HIM!!!

His HOLINESS,

MIGHT,

POWER,

MEEKNESS,

HUMILITY,

GRACE, 

And His MERCY.

Father , open our eyes to see YOU.

ONLY YOU.

And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to LOVE Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart nd with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 10:12

Sometimes we find ourselves in need of a serious, spiritual pep talk.

We often need to be reminded of the great love God has for us.

Sometimes my soul is so severely battered, I need to hear what He sees when He looks at me.

That I am beautiful….that I am so valuable….so incredibly favored and cherished.
It’s the healing balm so many of us need from time to time.

Those words and thoughts make us like well-watered plants: bright, healthy, aand thriving.

But I’ve been challenged lately with the fact that the Lord never wants us to LIVE there.  

He doesn’t want me to get stuck on just loving myself.  He knows that no matter how skewed my view of myself is, I can never stop loving ME. 

It’s never been a problem!
God doesn’t want me getting hung up on how I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”.

Rather, He wants us to get caught up in the One who is Fearful and Wonderful.

I don’t want to only think about how precious, beautiful, or worthy to be loved I am.

But I  DO want to think about the Worthy Lamb, the Beautiful One, the Great I Am!

When I read His Word, I’d love to stop asking, “What does this have to say about ME?“, and instead wonder what it has to say about JESUS.

I also really and truly believe that when we live our lives in awe and wonder of who God is, we will never have to “think” of ourselves again.  He will properly align all of our thoughts FOR us!

When scripture tells us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, ” that tells me He wants it ALL!   

He’s jealous for ALL of us, all the time, forever and ever.

Some people say the bible is God’s love letter to us.  I don’t know if Im overly sensitive about the whole “self” issue, but I think that’s only partially true.  It is the Gospel, from start to finish.  It is a story ALL ABOUT HIM!!!

His HOLINESS,

MIGHT,

POWER,

MEEKNESS,

HUMILITY,

GRACE, 

And His MERCY.

Father , open our eyes to see YOU.

ONLY YOU.

And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to LOVE Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart nd with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 10:12

​

Oh God, You are my God;

Early will I seek You;

My soul thirsts for You;

My flesh longs for You

In a dry and thirsty land 

Where there is no water.

So I have looked  for You in the sanctuary, 

Tossed Your power and glory. 

Because Your love is better than life,

My lips shall praise You.

Psalm 63

Maybe some of you are like me.  I’m kind of counting on it. 

David was like me,  if nobody else is. 

He felt the pain of each rejection,  both big and small,  like a knife plunged through his back! 

People fail us. 

People disappear from our everyday lives…even the ones you SWORE  never would. 

People will often betray us with the withdrawal of their love.

It is all so painful.

And I just want to feel relief! 

Joy again!

I  NEED Jesus!

I really,  REALLY need Him!

I need Him to show up and be exactly what He says He is.

Strong.

Gentle.

Fierce! 

Dependable. 

Tender.

Merciful. 

So patient!

I’m actually desperate for Him lately, and I know that’s good.  But the things that cause that need in me certainly never FEEL good!

I get so angry at myself for getting hurt by other’s  rejections of me, when I  KNOW there’s only One who truly matters!

I  NEED Him! 

I  THIRST for Him!

I was reminded this morning that His love truly IS better than life.

Life on this earth.

Life with imperfect people,  just as imperfect as I am.

Imperfection  banging and CRASHING  against somebody else’s imperfection.

That’s our world.  That’s where we live. 

But it’s those very imperfections that DRAW us, LEAD us, COMPELL us, to seek Jesus. 

Do you know what it means to actually THIRST for Him???

I didn’t used to know. 

But He is faithful to fill us up,  to satisfy the thirst, the NEED.

And I’m going to let Him.

My pastor recently said “there are no quick fixes.”

Boy, is he ever right about that!

And it’s probably the reason people stay stuck in bad places…because it is so difficult to make and maintain the necessary changes.

Since my stroke, I’ve battled some major addictions.

Addictions to alcohol.

Pills.

Shopping.

And food.

I can’t really blame that last one on any illness, though.

I’ve always been DEEPLY in love with food….especially BAD food!

For me, the four basic food groups has always been Butter, Cheese, Mayonnaise, and Butter.  Yes, I said Butter twice.  I LOVE butter!!!!!

When you almost die, it changes your perspective on….everything! I started to tell myself that I wasn’t going to deny myself anything that I enjoyed because my time here is limited. That whole Carpe Diem thing is okay when you’re applying it to having courage to follow your dreams, and all of that.  But it’s a dangerous way to think regarding unhealthy vices.

So, around December or January my metabolism handed in his letter of resignation, and very rudely stormed out of the door of my temple!

My weight seemed to skyrocket from there until March, when I’d finally had enough.  The story that would run through my head was the one about the rich, young ruler.  Jesus told him there was ONE THING he was still withholding (Matthew 19:16-30). I felt like, in that moment, my love, my ADORATION, my ADDICTION , to food was getting in the way of Jesus. He wasn’t my first love anymore.

I know that because I know what I spend most of my time thinking about and pursuing is the thing which I love most.  My love for food was taking Someone else’s very deserved place.  

It broke my guilty heart into tiny pieces.

I cut out butter. Almost completely. I cut out alot of unhealthy carbs and sugars. I cut back on my cheese intake. Grilling and not frying.

I added avocados, tomatoes, spinach, and fish to my diet. I work out five days a week.

I watched the pounds slowly disappear, and I watched something else too.

I watched this lazy girl become one of real DISCIPLINE!!  

I still love food, but it feels different now. It feels “right”, somehow.

I’ve been wanting to share what’s been happening on the inside of me for the past five months, but I kind of wanted to wait until I hit some kind of “milestone”.  Since I reached a goal of 25 pounds lost, I figured I’d hit it!

Now, I’m no advocate for doing things on your own or in your own strength.  I know I’m the one who has to resist temptations DAILY!  But I also know that God is the One who strengthens me and my resolve each day to continue to make health a priority.  

I NEVER thought I could survive without butter, or mayonnaise ( I miss you, mayo!!).

I NEVER thought I would be able to do what I just did.

God will give us what we need to go where we need to go.  Our only job is to never give up!

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize?  Run in such a way that you may win.  Everyone who competes in the games exercises self control in all things.  They then do it to recieve a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.  Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

I Corinthians 9:24-27

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions  never fail.  They are new every morning;   great is your faithfulness.   I say to myself,  “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him. The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Lamentations 3:22

I am so comforted by this verse.

Which is weird, because it’s pretty much the “book of mourning”!  Leave it to me to be comforted by basically the saddest book of the Bible!!!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always loved words, and what they really mean.  And this verse has a couple of DOOZIES that I’m gonna share, okay?

Okay!

The word consumed means “swallowed whole, devoured, gobbled up, and eaten up.”  The  hebrew definition describes it as “complete destruction.”

 
Wow.

All of us have been, are, or will be in pain at many points in our lives. 

Pain that is often CONSUMING. 

Pain so hideous, it feels like you could be devoured by it! So heinous, it seems like it could utterly and completely destroy you. 

 

But God says that HIS GREAT LOVE is the only thing keeping that from happening!
He is the only one keeping us  from being swallowed up by our own sin, or often by other people’s sins. 

The only one who can prevent the devil from devouring us, and protect us from ghosts that gobble at our future by reminding us of our past.

I absolutely LOVE knowing my Father can do all of that.

 

But it gets better!

I looked up one more word.

COMPASSIONS.

The English definition means just what you’d think it means: “empathy or sympathy, pity, wishing to stop one’s suffering, etc.”
But here’s where it gets interesting…

When you look up the Hebrew definition, you come up with the word racham.  This word means “the mother’s womb”.

They defined this word as meaning “the love a mother has for a child yet in the womb.”

 
Has it hit you yet????

Okay, the love a mother has for their children once they are born and continue to grow is pretty amazing. I mean, we love our children IMMEDIATELY after one of them shouts at the top of their angry little lungs, “I HATE you!!!!!!!!” 
We love them after they bathe in a tube of toothpaste, while sitting on our brand new couch.
We love them in spite of the things they do wrong.

 

But when they are still inside of us…

I’ll never be able to describe the kind of love you feel for someone you’ve never even met.

But it’s real.

You love them so completely before they’ve ever had a chance to do ANYTHING.

They haven’t done anything wrong yet, but neither have they yet done anything RIGHT! 

They are just loved completely as if they are blameless to the mother. Because to her, they are! Those unborn babies are just perfect.

THAT is the kind of love God has for us! 

Love that covers a multitude of undone sins, because He paid for them already! It is like we never did those horrible things, because He has removed them “as far as the east is from the west.”

That is truly an incredible love!

One that He promises to all who belong to Him.

That great love is all that we need to keep from being consumed.

That great love is all we will EVER need.

Isaiah 1:5

…Your head is injured, and your heart is sick.

Boy, do I love this verse!

Before I ever gave my heart to Him, He never REALLY saw me as the vile creature I truly was, but instead, saw me as injured.

Now, as a brain injury survivor, I totally get what it means to have an injured mind! Your brain doesn’t work the same way it used to.

You may forget large portions of time, may react in over-the-top kinds of ways to certain situations, and might not completely comprehend what is simple for someone else to understand.

But you really CAN’T get mad at the person, can you? I mean, it’s not THEIR fault.

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Do you see that????

GOD’S been giving us grace from the very beginning!!!!

Yes, we were/are all wicked and evil, and there are moments when He calls us just that.

But there are so many more examples of Him using words like this when describing His rebellious kids:

Wandering.

Lost.

Injured.

Weak.

Sick.

These are words that convey a sense of COMPASSION!

I’m not saying God doesn’t HATE sin, because I know that He does.

But He DOES love us.

But that’s not all!!!

What do you think our world, our cities, our schools, our churches, our homes, our marriages, would look like if this is how we saw one another when someone offends or hurts us???

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that. His head is injured, and his heart is sick. ”

Doesn’t it shift your focus, be it ever so slightly, from anger….

To LOVE ?

Anyway, this is my challenge. To pray for those who hurt me, using these words.

Because I’ve been injured and sick, too.

1 A Psalm of David. Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

This past Sunday, I was having a bad day.

I was discouraged and sad, to the point that I couldn’t stop crying, and I didn’t care who saw me that way.

I was desperately trying to stop, but I couldn’t.

A friend and I started a bible study last week on Job. And he came to my mind this Sunday. After losing all that he lost, including all that he owned and his precious children, he worshiped God. As if on instinct!

Then I remembered Psalm 103. “Bless the Lord, O my soul.”

David was having a bad day, too.

So what did he do? He COMMANDED his heart to worship!!

Isn’t that awesome? We can preach to our own hearts!

Some of us can’t pick ourselves up, but seem to need the reassuring words of friends and family to keep going down the rough roads on which we find ourselves.

But this Sunday, I knew that there were no words a human being could say to me that would “unbreak” my heart.

I also knew that my feelings really didn’t need to change in order to worship. Worship is based on facts, not feelings!

So I went through the facts.

Don’t forget His benefits.

When you’re struggling to praise Him, remember ALL the MANY ways He has blessed you throughout your life. The very breath in your lungs is there because He put it there!!!

He forgives my sins and heals my diseases.

No one else can ever forgive me for every big and little thing I’ve done and give me the redemption and complete healing that is promised for me in Heaven!

He redeems me from destruction and crowns me with lovingkindness and mercy.

He satisfies me with GOOD things.

He renews me.

It wasn’t long before I was full of joy, and the tears went away.

Because I told my soul what to do!

Namaan, commander of the army of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and in high favor, because by him the Lord had given victory to Syria. He was a mighty man of valor, but he was a leper.
2 Kings 5:1

Continue reading →

 

There are so many things we learn in life, walking with God. I couldn’t possibly cover even half of them here! So I’m going to focus just on two. Two of, what I believe, the most important truths we have to work through on our own, and in our own time.

Number#1:

God loves me. No matter what.

He loves me. He loves me when I sing, even if I can’t. He loves me when I worship Him with total sincerity. He loves me when I think of others before myself. He loves me when I tell the truth, even when it’s extremely difficult to do so.

But He also loves me when I don’t open my lips to thank Him for anything! He loves me even if I lose my mind, if I become consumed with myself, even if all I tell is lies. He loves me when I steal, curse, or hate.

He just loves me!

There are no conditions you could ever put on that kind of love, and that’s why we should take it so very seriously, and never take Him for granted. It truly is a “once in a lifetime” kind of love.

Death can’t steal it.

Distance can’t reach it.

Satan cannot touch it!

His love will always BE.

Once you understand that, you will be free to truly live this life!

Number #2:

I love Him. No matter what.

When you lose someone you love, can you say it? That you love Him?

Can you say that you truly do?

Can you say it through several bouts of cancer?

Can you say it through chronic illness, meaning illness that NEVER goes away?

Can you say it if you’ve suffered abuse?

Can you say it if you’ve been betrayed?

For me, it all comes down to this simple verse.

We love Him because He first loved us.

1 John 4:19

It is HIS love that compells us to love Him in return!

Although it is true that afflictions come into our lives chiefly to bring glory to God in the mysterious way that it will, but I always think it’s also a test or temptation from the enemy. “Let’s see if he still loves You now!”

I’m not sure if I will always be able to say that I love Him, because I don’t know what’s in store for my life. I would LOVE to say that I would, that I’m not so conditional in my love, or so shallow, but since I’m still human, I truly don’t know.

What I DO know, is I love Him now BECAUSE of all the trials I’ve gone through! He never left me, never stopped proving His great love for me.

Not even for a second!

He never once withheld peace, joy, strength, or grace from me, even though I deserve none of it!

And that history, that knowledge, will hopefully strengthen my love for Him, so that my love might begin to look a little more like His.

Unconditional.