Usually when I write one of these blogs, it usually falls on the day after a crisis, or the day after I had this huge spiritual epiphany! But not today. God keeps compelling me to write today.  Today.   It hasn’t been a good day, or a clarifying day, or any other “let’s put a positive spin on it” kinda day. 

My son is sick.  He has been sick for over ninth months. He’s been on the whole list of antibiotics….twice!  And yet he is still sick. We saw a specialist today who completely contradicts all the information we’ve gathered from all the other doctors who have put in  their two cents.  And later in the week, he is being tested for some big stuff…stuff too scary to talk about yet.

And I feel…. tired….overwhelmed….anxious….confused….worried….did I say tired?  A person once told me “you don’t know “worried” until you’re a mom”.  They are right about that. I would take every cancer, every germ possible upon myself to keep it from reaching my kid. Today, I feel out of control and desperate for answers.  And I’m angry!  I CAN’T take care of a sick child- permanently! I mean, I know my limits, and that is far above them. The anxiety inside of me is like a clogged toilet, just getting ready to overflow.

The only positive, helpful thing I know to do is to plant good words into my worried brain, and believe them into my heart.  I know there are other moms fighting worse, more difficult fights than mine. So, here are words for all of us!

Psalm 34:4

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.

You see?  I’m starting to feel a little better already.  I hope you do, too. And if you can, please remember my son, Micah, in your prayers.

Do you have a fight song?  Okay. Do you know what a fight song IS???

It’s the song you play in your car, or in your house, or on you ipod-thingy…full blast!  It’s the song you play when you are up against a wall and you feel like turning around with your tail between your legs and going back home, where it’s safe.  It’s the song you play when you KNOW you don’t want to give up.  And somehow, that song gives you that little bit of encouragement you need to keep on going, to keep on fighting.

Mine used to be the theme song to “Rocky”. (I know…cheesy.) Then, it was Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “Bring It On”.  My song right now is “Never Wave My Flag” by Mary Mary.

Well, I was reading the other day in the book of Psalms.  And I found my very own “fight psalm”!!!  David wrote it after God delivered him from Saul and from all of his other enemies.  He starts off by praising Him for who He is, and then thanks Him for coming down in a “blaze of glory” to rescue him!  Then he continues by saying he knows he will be victorious in EVERY battle, with God’s help!  Read some of the verses and get a feel for David’s fight psalm:

Wow! Can you tell how much I love verse 29?  Did my bold type and underlining give it away?  I love this verse so much!  Walls (obstacles) and enemies are everywhere in our lives.  Sometimes they come in the form of a lost job, lost loved one, lost home…medical problems, financial problems, marital problems, etc.  But through all of these things we CAN be victorious!  We just have to be prepared to fight!!!! 

I used to think that having a fight song would somehow jinx me, inviting the enemy in when he wasn’t really paying any attention to me.  But the truth is, if you love God, the enemy is ALWAYS watching you, and he’ll attack with or without your trusty fight song. 

But you see, I need encouragement before, during, and after a battle.  I need to chant those words! I need for the energy and spirit behind David’s words to jump off the page  and into my heart and mind!  I’ve found that every day is a battle in one way or another, and I can choose to roll over and wave my white flag of surrender, or I can choose to fight!  And I won’t go down without fighting.  So, take these words of the psalm and make them yours.  With God’s help you CAN  advance against any troop!  With God’s help, you CAN scale that wall!

So……

Fight!

Fight!

Fight!!

My fight song is below if you want to borrow it! : )

The other day, another memory came back from when I was a kid.  You see, my dad worked at General Electric as a tool grinder for 35 years.  As you can imagine, a tool grinder is not exactly at the top of the food chain…and my mom stayed home to take care of her three girls. So, there were never a lot of “extras” during those years, but we always had what we needed.

Well, one day the local supermarket, Super Duper ( I love that name!), was holding a drawing, and the winner would receive a two-minute shopping spree in their store.  My mom filled out a card, believing she would never be picked because the Waite’s just don’t win things like that! So you can imagine how surprised we ALL were when she won!

Days before the shopping spree was scheduled, my mom was mapping out the store and figuring out her strategy.  The day finally came, but I was at school, and was probably thinking about that spree all day long, and of all the chocolate, candy, and butter that would be waiting for me when I got home!  Well, imagine my deep disappointment when I came home to find mountains of beef roasts, pork roasts, steaks, hams, and turkeys strewn out over the kitchen table.  Apparently my mother thought that hitting the meat department, and hitting it hard, would be her best bet to get the most out of this amazing gift. 

Well, I was just a little irritated!  I definitely would have gone down a much different aisle than the MEAT aisle!  Frankly, I was disgusted. My dad then asked me how much I thought one of those turkeys cost.  I guessed very low, and then he told me how much all the items would have cost if they’d paid for it.  It came to over $400 worth of protein!  So, in the days that came after the spree, I did appreciate this major win for the Waite family…because we were eating well for a good long while!

What we received that day was our needs being met…and met in abundance!!!!

You see, we are never promised all that we DESIRE, but rather, all we NEED if we follow after Him.  And sometimes he showers us with the things we need, like an unending spring!

So if you feel forgotten by God in some way, think long and hard.  Did you eat food today?  Did you have a place to lay your head at night? Did you have access to water?  Well, instead of dwelling on what you still don’t have, take a minute and thank Him for providing you with everything you need, and give Him special thanks for those times you had what you needed, in abundance!

6 But who is able to build Him a temple, since heaven and the heaven of heavens cannot contain Him?

2 Chronicles 2: 6

 

I recently had a flashback to the first day of eleventh grade Advanced Placement English. The very first assignment was to write about an ineffable experience from our own lives. Well, since the word “ineffable” means “indescribable”, the assignment sounded more like “impossible” than “ineffable”.  I kept saying, ” If it’s so indescribable, then how am I supposed to describe it?????”

But I think that’s what songwriters try to do today.  They try to capture the indescribable God with words.  And no matter how vivid their painting is of Him, it will never come close to capturing ALL of Him! He is more GOOD than anyone can say.  He is more HOLY than anyone can imagine.  He has more LOVE than anyone can ever know! 

He is beyond any words we use, any music we create, any painting we design!  But I think He appreciates and loves even our feeblest of efforts!  When we praise Him from the deepest part of our hearts, He DEEPLY loves that. And it brings Him much joy! 

So, even if we will never be able to contain the essence of Him in all the songs, poems, and words we say….we should still sing, still write, still try to describe Him to the world.  If you notice in the rest of 2 chronicles 2, Solomon, who struggled over how to build a temple to this God who could not be contained, still went on and built it.  Using the best of materials he had at his disposal…making the richest example he could think of for his God.

And we should try and do the same!

Where in the world did we ever get the idea that love was easy?  That it would cost us nearly nothing?  That our conflicts with others can be resolved in two hours with appropriately dramatic music playing for us the whole way through?

My experience with love is hugely different.  Sometimes, there IS no music.  It is sometimes so painful that it barely seems survivable. The cost is often so high that I feel emotionally “broke” at the end of the day.  And it is NEVER  easy. 

If treasures just laid right out in the open all over the place, would they have the same value as the ones for which we  search for years?

This world wants everything to be fast, simple, and take nearly zero effort to claim.  Well, that’s not love.  That sounds like lust to me.   Sure, we think of lust as sexual desire, and that is definitely a big part of that word.  But to me, lust is about immediate gratification. No effort, but all the pleasures.  God loves, and we lust.  He desires us, and we desire everything BUT Him. 

Now, I can kind of understand why there was about 300 years of “nothing” between where the Old Testament stopped and the New Testament began. Sometimes, I think God was sitting there, thinking, “ Do I really want to give my greatest treasure to be beaten, killed, and sacrificed for THESE people? These people who have repeatedly turned away from me, rejected me, and flat out cheated on me??  Do I really love them THAT much?”  Now, I don’t honestly think God had any such conversation with Himself, because He knew before time began what He would one day give up.  But, I could understand if He had those thoughts.  I have them often.  “How long can I keep offering forgiveness, just to be hurt again?  How much longer can I go on? Where’s the nearest EXIT??????  Can I really keep on giving to someone who keeps taking and taking?”

But that is love.  It’s raw, bloody, messy, painful…and one day…. beautiful.  If we don’t give up. 

 

27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. 31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. 32 But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.

Luke 6:27-35

 

This kind of love does not sound like “disney movie love”, does it? But if we are honest with ourselves, that’s really the kind we want. Why?  Because it’s EASY!  Way less painful than the kind of love Jesus is describing. But, you see, if we love Him, we have to love like HE does!  And we know what he did for love.  Those verses are harsh and aren’t easy to swallow. But that is love. It is not pretty, but SOOOOOO worth it in the end!

Who Turned Out The Lights????.

Matthew 10:27

Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops.

I LOVE this verse! 

One of the things I know about the senses is that when one is taken away, the other senses are somehow heightened.  For example, a deaf person may develop a keener vision or sense of touch.  And a blind person will, no doubt, develop a much stronger sense of hearing.

So, here’s how I think this verse applies to life:  When you find yourself in utter darkness, shut up and listen.  If you talk during the darkness, you will not encourage anyone, except maybe to know you’re human just like everybody else.  When I’m in emotional darkness, the best thing I can do is close my mouth and listen, shutting out every other sound…anticipating what God might be trying to tell me, whether they are words of comfort or words of wisdom for another. 

And then we are told to share what we’ve heard with everybody!  Pretty much, to shout it from the rooftops!  I’m pretty good and that second part…at sharing what God has shown me, and I’m grateful He’s given me the outlet of writing to do so.  But that first part: “what I tell you, speak in the light”….well, that’s a bit of a different story.  You see, I love a good pity party, and the more in attendance, the better!  Anybody else like that??  You know you are, so don’t even lie! : )  I love to talk and bemoan about my darkness with anyone who will listen, if I’m being completely honest.

I remember awhile ago I asked someone why I had such insight about a circumstance a day later, when the crisis wasn’t so fresh and raw. Why couldn’t I have this knowledge DURING that darkness?  And I guess, the light is what makes it clear what we’ve learned.  Now we are not only HEARING, but now we SEE, as well!

So, join me in a little experiment.  The next time that utter darkness seems to slide over the sun in my life, I’m going to be very quiet. And listen.  And I KNOW I will hear something amazing!  And then, jump up on the roof with me and share what He showed us when the lights finally come back on!!!

The apostle Paul certainly had a lot happen to him during his life.  He was stoned, ridiculed, shipwrecked, imprisoned, beaten, and tortured.  Have any ONE  of those things happen to you and the people from the Lifetime channel would be knocking down your door.

Yet through all of those horrible things, he was never defeated, never crushed, never destroyed.  Because he had the amazing ability to see “beyond the road.”  He knew that pain was directly in front of him, but he looked beyond that to the day he would be in a place full of glory, and with Jesus!  His view looked just beyond his present circumstances to a glorious future.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all see beyond the road in front of us?  If we didn’t see the pain of right now, but of that “someday” when we would be free from all of this?? 

We DO have a “someday”.  For some of us it is nearer than for others.  My grandmother lived to be 100 years old, and I know the hope of heaven was what woke her up each morning, especially those last twenty years!  But shouldn’t we all see that day as our hope, and our target?  Not the road we’re stuck on right now, but just beyond! 

 

I know I write a lot of posts about God’s protection throughout my life, and the comfort I have just from knowing He has been with me for EVERY  moment of my life, that not one of those terrible or good moments went by without Him sitting right next to me through it all, and keeping the pain from going beyond what He deems I would be able to handle. 

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me (a shield surrounding me on every  side);  my glory and the lifter of my head.

Psalm 3:3

You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:5

These words bring me so much comfort and peace, knowing I rest in His hands, His protective and ever-capable hands.

But I recently received a message from someone who does not have that same relationship with Jesus.  And she was NOT satisfied with my viewpoint.  I’ll sum up what she commented: 

“How is that enough for you?  Who cares if He’s there, if He is still allowing all of these things to happen.  That brings me no comfort at all!  So He’s there!  So what!  Is that all He can do?  Isn’t your God powerful at all??”

Well, I’ve gotta say.  This floored me!  For one, it somehow IS enough that He is there, never leaving me or forsaking me.  And for another, I had NO idea how to give an answer that would comfort her or provide her with an understanding of who God is and how much He loves her. Quite frankly, I never thought of this question before.  But I figure if she’s asking, maybe there are others with that same concern.  So, I’m going to try to address it the best I know how, okay?  Okay.

Imagine a mother, holding her little son who is dying of cancer.  She cannot stop it.  For it, along with every other horrible thing on earth, is a result of sin, a choice made by man.  She fights with doctors, and researches other types of recovery methods, but when it comes down to it, all she is able to do is hold her little boy, and do her best to make his days as full of joy as possible, just by being there.  God, in giving us free will, has allowed the sin we CHOSE, to basically “run its course”.  Yes, it stinks.  To undo sin, to reverse the effects that it has ( and believe me, sin effects EVERYTHING!), would be to take our choices away from us.  And that is the one thing He can’t and won’t do.  Because He wants our love to be genuine, not a robotic response.

Also, in the book of Job, God addresses Job in the midst of his pain, reminding Him that HE is God, and all of the works He has done are too vast, and too mysterious, and too glorious to be understood.  And I take that to mean, we need to trust God even in the darkest of days, that it will bring forth some kind of good.  I can honestly say that not one bad thing has ever happened to me that has not produced something good! 

I wish I could comfort everyone with just the sheer fact that He never misses ANYTHING  that happens, and that He catches each tear that falls from our eyes.  Would we blame our mother for not taking our sickness away?  Would we hold her responsible for all the pain that came from something that she clearly didn’t cause?  Or would it be enough just to have her hold us when the pain was excruciating? Would it be enough to hear the songs of comfort she sings over us when we are hurting so badly?

It truly and honestly is for me.

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 13:35

I grew up in a “church” that was not very open to new people.  In fact, in order to take communion, one would have to be “interviewed” or “examined” by the men of the church.  Sure, we invited kids in the area to Sunday School, but that was about it.  I don’t remember anyone reaching out to those who didn’t act, or look mostly like us. It took me many years to shed the weight of such high standards….ones that Jesus never called us to, by the way.

I was raised that these rules were some of the ways we set ourselves apart from the world, or by those who were not saved.   But I have learned that love is definitely enough to set ourselves apart!

Real love is humble.  Real love is serving.  Real love is sacrificial, and forgiving. Real love is compassionate, not just to the ones for which the world shows compassion, but for the “villain of the story.” For the thief, the liar, the cheater, the abuser, and the murderer.

This verse does NOT say, “They will know you by the company you keep.” Or “They will know you by the rules you adher to.”  Nor does it say, “They will know you by  the good deeds you perform, or by the sincerity you simulate during worship, or by how holy your prayers sound.” 

Jesus kind of makes it easy on us.  He just leaves that one command for us to follow (that, and loving Him, which is a given!)  But it’s a doozy!  And it is powerful, too.  The world doesn’t know what to make of the mother who forgives the drunk driver who took her daughter away before she ever had a chance to really start her life.  The world doesn’t know what to make of the father whose son was killed by gang members,who now makes it his mission to show love to those same young men.

Before you start leaving me messages defending some of your actions, or making excuses, don’t!  Because I am not judging you any harder than I do myself.  For ten years, I worked for Children and Youth Services.  During that time, I met so many hurt and abused children. Even children raped by BOTH parents!  My compassion grew and grew each day for those children.  However, my anger increased steadily towards those parents who caused such harm and damage to their own children.  In fact, that was the real reason I left that job. I was just too angry.  At the parents, at the system, and well, everybody. Now, I wish I could go back and do things a little different. Whenever I hear of a heinous act committed by somebody, I pray that I or someone closer could be used to show them some compassion….the forgiveness I DIDN’T show to so many.

THAT is what will ultimately set us apart from everyone else!  Showing real love, that comes from the Father, to a lost, hurting, sin-soaked world.