“You offer defiled food on My altar. But say, ‘In what way have we defiled You?’ By saying, ‘The table of the Lord is contemptible.’ 8 And when you offer the blind as a sacrifice, Is it not evil? And when you offer the lame and sick, Is it not evil? Offer it then to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you favorably?” Says the Lord of hosts. 9 “But now entreat God’s favor, That He may be gracious to us. While this is being done by your hands, Will He accept you favorably?” Says the Lord of hosts. 10 “Who is there even among you who would shut the doors, So that you would not kindle fire on My altar in vain? I have no pleasure in you,” Says the Lord of hosts, “Nor will I accept an offering from your hands. 11 For from the rising of the sun, even to its going down, My name shall be great among the Gentiles; In every place incense shall be offered to My name, And a pure offering; For My name shall be great among the nations,” Says the Lord of hosts. 12 “But you profane it, In that you say, ‘The table of the Lord is defiled; And its fruit, its food, is contemptible.’ 13 You also say, ‘Oh, what a weariness!’ And you sneer at it,” Says the Lord of hosts. “And you bring the stolen, the lame, and the sick; Thus you bring an offering! Should I accept this from your hand?” Says the Lord. 14 “But cursed be the deceiver Who has in his flock a male, And takes a vow, But sacrifices to the Lord what is blemished– For I am a great King,” Says the Lord of hosts, “And My name is to be feared among the nations.

For the longest time, I have been drawn to these verses….it paints an entirely different picture of our God for me.  We’re used to seeing him, in our minds, hugging children, welcoming birdies to rest on His shoulder …not this God who would angrily push our gifts and offerings away, telling us they are not good enough!  He even says, “Don’t even START the fire if this is the junk you’re going to bring Me!  Garbage!”

He didn’t want the sick animals, the stolen ones, or the ones who were lame or ones with a disability.  He wanted only the best. 

What does this mean for us today?  I’m no theologian, so I’m sure there is much depth that I am not seeing.  So I will keep it simple.

God does not want what is easy for us to give.  When our lives our rosy, and everything is peachy, our offering of thanks are what He expects from us.  After all, life is rosy, isn’t it??  But how often do we not stop in the middle of our happy parade and thank the Father, who made it so?

Also, when we try to approach Him with some kind of sin buried in our hearts, I think all He sees is that blemished animal, one certainly not worthy to be presented to a Holy God.  He also doesn’t want a disabled offering.  Maybe fear is YOUR disability. Unfortunately, whatever it is,it will keep you from being able to offer Him your VERY BEST, your PUREST worship.

But there is an offering, a sacrifice, I believe He truly loves.  This is the gift we lay down when we feel we don’t have one single thing left to give!  When we have been broken down beyond any human hope of repair, and we offer Him praise…when we sing words of love to Him while our heart is bleeding…I may be wrong, but I think that is God’s personal favorite! When we’ve been painfully refined, over and over, by fire…that person we become has GOT to be one of the purest gifts! And one He would never turn away.

“I will bring the one-third through the fire, Will refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them. I will say, ‘This is My people’; And each one will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’ “

Zechariah 13:9

Psalm 66:10

Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.

Deuteronomy 32:2

 

I will be like the dew to Israel; he will blossom like a lily. Like a cedar of Lebanon he will send down his roots;

Hosea 14:5

 

It was morning sometime in June, 2011, which was around one month after my first stroke.  Back then, I was still dealing with what had just happened to my life, and trying to figure out what was left of it. 

I remember I woke up around five one morning, got out of bed and looked out our front window.  The sloping, green grass of our yard looked so beautiful.  I went out in my pajamas, long before my kids woke up.  I walked out on our lawn in my bare feet, feeling the cool dew between my toes.  Then, I laid down on the grass, wetness and all, and stared at the sky.  The sun was just starting to come out, and soon I found myself crying.  I remember asking God to restore me.  And what I meant by that, I think, was I wanted Him to return all my memories that were lost, and return all the other functions that were now gone. 

But whether I knew it or not, He DID begin to restore me.  Not the way I had originally wanted Him to…but better!

Isn’t that how we are sometimes?  We would settle for so much less than what He plans to give us, just so that we could avoid fear or pain! Yes, He could have given me back my memories, and my cognitive abilities.  But instead, He gave me His presence in my darkest days, reassurance that He would provide for me, peace in knowing Him, and His strength to keep moving forward.  Those are some VERY precious gifts!!

Like the verse above, He wants the chance to refresh us, to cause us to blossom!

When I think back on that morning, He was beginning to do just that in my life.  Because of the pain, compassion started to blossom inside of me.  And when I desperately needed, it, He found a way to refresh and mend my broken heart, like that dew He promises.

He restores so much more than we even know to ask for.  And for that, I am so thankful!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about entitlement, because I think it is a deadly poison that kills people every day…kills the soul of a person.  Entitlement is the notion or belief that one has a right to some type of reward or benefit.

The Christian community is not immune from this kind of thing. There are large segments of Christian teaching that tell us that God wants us to be rich, healthy, and successful (according to the world’s standards). As a result, we have Christians who believe they are entitled to a new car, a big home, and all the other things that the world calls success. We are told that we should “step out in faith” and expect God to provide. We are even told to “expect a miracle” (which leads inevitably to the idea of demanding a miracle). This philosophy clearly describes a sense of spiritual entitlement.

Certainly, God does bless His people. He has even blessed many through the years with prosperity and power. God does do miracles. However, there are people all around the world who are more faithful than we are and yet materially, they have very little. There are people who endure great physical trials, yet possess a faith that is deeper than we are able to understand. These people do not feel entitled to worldly blessings . . . they have discovered the blessing of intimacy with God which is better than anything the world can give us.

Somehow we seem to have come to believe that we deserve God’s blessing or that He owes us something. If God doesn’t deliver we seem to feel that He has let us down.

I’ve learned just how foolish this type of thinking is.  The Bible gives us a different picture of our situation. We are told that we are people who have fallen far short of God’s standard of perfection. God has given us a gift we do not deserve. He has extended a forgiveness we did not earn. God does not owe us . . . we owe Him!

This idea of demanding God’s blessing is contrary to the teaching of Jesus:

     Paul said, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! [Philippians 2:5-8]

Jesus did not call us to demand our rights; in fact He seemed to teach that we should be willing to surrender our rights for the sake of the gospel. Jesus didn’t teach us to gather stuff, He told us to give it away to help others. He did not teach us to demand from others, He taught us to give of ourselves to others. He taught us that joy does not come from material things. True joy comes from resting in Him.

In our spiritual lives, a sense of entitlement leads us to be lazy in our faith. We want a relationship with God that doesn’t require any work.  We get our devotions e-mailed to us (so we don’t even have to open the Bible). Our prayers are one-sentence requests as we rush here and there. We want intimacy with God without having to put out any effort.

We must face the facts. Life as we know it is not fair. Some people seem to have it easier than others . . . and I don’t know why. God does not treat everyone the same. He raises some up and not others. Why? I don’t know. But guess what!  You are not entitled to what everyone else has! God does not owe you anything! On the contrary, we owe Him everything.

I once heard a story about a woman I know.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she reportedly had this to say:  “I began asking God , ‘Why me?’, and then, as I dealt with the cancer I began to ask instead, ‘Why NOT me?’ “

A big challenge to overcome when you’re in the middle of suffering is to stop living our lives feeling that somehow we have been cheated or deprived. While I watched every other person my age get married and start families, while I remained single, I felt cheated.  When I suffered deep betrayal, I most definitely felt cheated.  And every once in awhile, when my guard is down, I sometimes, even now, feel cheated.  Here are some tips for avoiding the entitlement virus:

1. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Start each day thanking God for all that He has given you: a new day of life; His mercy and grace; your family; your health; His promises in the Word of God; a purpose in living. Be specific. Look for opportunities to thank people for their work and the blessing they have given you.

2. Make a conscious effort to look for ways that you can give to others rather than focusing on what you think you deserve from others.

3. Work at growing your relationship with God. Practice spiritual discipline. Make time to read the Word. Work at prayer. Be good stewards of what you have. Read a challenging Christian book . . . stop demanding to be spoon fed.

4. Hold yourself accountable. When you hear yourself say or think about what you “deserve”, stop and ask yourself why you think you “deserve” these things.

5. Diligently seek contentment. Learn to gladly receive what God has given to you. Enjoy life as it is rather than desiring the day when things will be better.

We can choose to focus on what we have been given by a gracious God. We can diligently pursue humility, holiness and service. We can learn to be content and we can learn to be thankful. We can learn to be givers rather than takers. And if we do this, our relationship with God . . . and with others, will be enriched.

 

I love to tell the story of unseen things above,

Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love.

I love to tell the story, because I know ’tis true;

It satisfies my longings as nothing else can do.

I love to tell the story, ’twill be my theme in glory,

To tell the old, old story of Jesus and His love.

I love to tell the story; more wonderful it seems

Than all the golden fancies of all our golden dreams.

I love to tell the story, it did so much for me;

And that is just the reason I tell it now to thee.

I love to tell the story; ’tis pleasant to repeat

What seems, each time I tell it, more wonderfully sweet.

I love to tell the story, for some have never heard

The message of salvation from God’s own holy Word.

I love to tell the story, for those who know it best

Seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest.

And when, in scenes of glory, I sing the new, new song,

’Twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long.

Katherine Hankey 1866

 

It is said that Katherine Hankey wrote the above hymn during a time of serious illness.  In fact, she wrote two very long poems during that time, and this hymn was compiled by her out of both poems, A Story Wanted and A Story Told.

I wonder if she ever struggled with  the idea that her illness had become her “story.” What if she wrote these poems to show the world what her REAL story was?

My mom told me that I used to sing this song over and over as a young child. That sounds kind of fitting, I suppose, because I have lately been feeling like I want to change MY story.

You see, the stroke has had such a huge effect on my life and on my testimony, that sometimes I think the world thinks that the stroke IS my “story”.  Gosh, I hope not.  Yes, the stroke brought about a need in my heart that only God could meet.  And for that, I will always be thankful.  But I don’t want my name and stroke to be synonymous with each other.  I think I have allowed that to happen already in my own mind.  It’s one of the first things new people learn about me.  On one hand, it’s natural that would happen, but the stroke is NOT my story!  My story, at least the most recent chapters, wouldn’t have happened without the stroke, but that was really just the tool God used to reach out to me, to invite me out to the deep waters with Him. 

I would much rather the song above be my story forever.  I want everyone to know who Jesus is to me, what He’s done for me, and what He’s meant to me!  Yes, stroke will probably  always be an important part of my story, just because of all that I learned from it.  But I pray that isn’t all there is!  Because what He did for me, and what He did for you on that cross is honestly more “wonderful than all the golden fancies of all our golden dreams”!

His story really is the only one that truly matters.

If you’re a parent, then you know first hand just how unpredictable life with children can be.  One day, everything’s going smoothly.  The next day, everybody has the flu, pink eye, lice, etc.  And they love to share! So, soon EVERYBODY has it.  All of it!

There are days that are overwhelmingly stressful because of our circumstances.  Sometimes, I feel like I’m drowning in the cries of sick kiddos, suffocating on the screams of the crisis of the day.

The chaos and craziness of an average, ordinary day can quickly cause us to lose our focus…like waves crashing over our heads.

Someone told me that if you’re seasick, one of the ways to stop that “God, please help me!” feeling in the pit of your stomach, is to go outside on the ship/boat, and fix your eyes on the horizon.  Do NOT look down at the waves crashing beneath you.  Looking out at the calmness of the horizon will not only settle your stomach, but will also restore a sense of balance you lose when focusing on those waves up close.

I love that thought!  I can’t tell you how many times I allowed my equilibrium to be compromised over temporary problems.

 

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:17, 18

My daughter won’t have lice forever.  And the flu EVENTUALLY has to exit our home. All the things which can change on a dime WILL eventually change. 

So, if you feel like you can’t get out from under the weariness of constant sickness, conflicts, or trouble, rest easy.  Know that if your eyes are fixed on Him, you won’t care nearly as much about those pesky waves of crisis that always seem to be crashing up against you.

So, don’t look down!  Eyes forward!  Trust in the One who made those very waves we’re so concerned about.

My pastor and close friend has used a phrase a couple of times in the last three weeks during “service”.  He originally encouraged the congregation to sing with all their hearts, and to sing for those who have “lost their song.”  I can’t stop thinking about these beautiful words!  Have you ever lost your song?  Have you ever been so discouraged and low that it took all your energy just to SHOW UP, let alone muster up enough strength to sing?  So…you don’t. You sit there.  I’ve sat there, too, once or twice.  And I remember a young woman, raising her hands in the front row, standing and singing with all her heart.  She wasn’t exactly smiling, but neither was she frowning.  It just seemed like those words were the most important things she would say or sing all day!  And it lifted me a little…little by little, until I got up the strength to finally sing along.

I now realize that there are two groups I’m singing or playing my horn to on Sunday mornings:  The first group is God the Father, Jesus the Son,and the Holy Spirit.  The second group is everybody else!

I was reading a lot in the Bible about the “singing” part of worship (because it is truly ALL  worship in some form or another). I came across two different types of singing:  songs about God TO GOD, and songs about God TO OTHERS. And both are a part of the psalms, which we are pretty much commanded to continue to use during the “singing” part. (Eph. 5:19 and Col. 3:16)Check out the following scripture:

In essence, what we give to God in song, we should also be giving to others.  You know, I sometimes get slightly flustered when it FEELS like the majority of the congregation views the praise team (that’s partially me!) as a group responsible for GIVING them some words and music upon which to meditate…to encourage and convict…and themselves as the ones who GET the gift. But if my understanding of the above verses is correct, then we are ALL responsible for giving and getting  “ a song.”

This is a pretty exciting thought!  No matter what, no matter who, no matter what our flaws are, we are all invited  to participate in a magnificent exchange!!! Singing a song to Jesus AND singing to the people around you, who, if you do it with the right attitude, will never care if you can’t sing!

In general, there are at least two groups of people who have not embraced the incredible role they could be playing in the Church: Those who think they have nothing to offer, and those who think they don’t need to go anywhere…that watching an hour of Charles Stanley is good enough.  To the first group, that is incorrect, and to the second, that is just plain irresponsible!

If you aren’t sure if you have anything to offer God or any way to serve Him, this is your ticket! EVERYBODY is called to do this, so EVERYBODY also has what it takes to do this!  I’m not talking about talent, but heart….love.  If your motive is to love and serve, then you simply can’t go wrong.

If you are a Charles Stanley fan, but only on Sunday mornings (insert any pastor’s name here), then I have some words for you.  If you dare to say you belong to God, you are going against scripture to consistently NOT attend times when the whole body is meeting. (Hebrews 10:25) To say you aren’t needed there is either very self-deprecating, completely selfish, or extremely untrue. 

When you don’t sing your song, someone goes without having heard it.  And you will never know what you could have been a part of, just by sitting in your pew, and singing your song.

The young woman I mentioned earlier?  Her name was Joyce, and she was a great friend.  At the age of 33, after many years of battling cancer, she painfully passed away.  Joyce never sang on our praise and worship team, except for the gospel choir.  She never played an instrument on stage.  But I would say without question she was the very best worship leader I have ever had!  Even when she knew she was dying, she still raised her arms and sang with everything she had left.  She gave her song away every week, to whomever may have desperately needed it that day.

We all need to remember her on Sunday morning, when we’re in bed, debating whether or not to get dressed and go be with the Church and sing our song, or stay in bed and RECEIVE  some more from some famous pastor.

Sing your song today, for the person who may have just lost theirs.

Having no memory of any knowledge of the book of Revelation, and no comprehensive ability to understand it now, I found that I was asking myself some pretty dumb, or silly, questions.  And yes, I know most people don’t understand it either, but back to my questions ….like, how long are we going to wait until He comes to get us? And how does He decide that? 

Yes, I know I’ve been a little ….”homesick” for heaven as of late, but I wanted to understand God’s heart and mind.  So here are some of them:

Is He like Schindler in Schindler’s List, where he says the “list is not enough”? Is He mercifully waiting for more people, or for a certain person? (Get with the program, buddy! We’re all waitin’ down here, on YOU!) Or does He have it all mapped out, and no matter how close a certain person is to changing their heart, He will do what He said He would do?

Despite the disadvantage it puts ME at, I kind of hope it’s the Schindler version, because I don’t want anyone “to perish” either.  But my mind tells me it is the second option. Mostly because I’ve seen Him do it before, in Noah’s time.  He shut the door when He chose to, even though He only saved eight people on the whole planet. 

But what is really interesting is what I learned through all of these questions.  I learned that I/we are always trying to somehow make God human.  In other words, by making “human” sense of His decisions, I could somehow tell myself I now knew Him better.

But the reality is that you really can’t EVER know His heart, or His mind!  We try to fit Him in our tiny human boxes.  It reminds me of a line in Aladdin.”Phenomenal COSMIC POWERS!  Itty bitty living space!”

Why do we try to make Him small, and….understandable? Maybe it’s because we are afraid to trust Someone who certainly doesn’t think ANYTHING like us, and is capable of doing more than we could ever imagine.  Why do we try to understand ANYTHING?  In order to eliminate the fear of the unknown!

And God will never be fully known by anyone on earth.  That’s one of the reasons I’m anxious to go to heaven.  There won’t be anything I can’t know about God.   All my  mysteries will be instantly solved!

Come to think of it, there is something beautiful about a “Mysterious God.”  A God with so many mysteries, so that each one I solve on earth, about a thousand instantly sprout up!  That is a truly INCREDIBLE God!  Past my ways of finding out. And really, it IS comforting that we don’t serve a God who has the heart of man.  I sooo want to be a woman with the heart of God!  Mysteries and all!

 

You’ll have to forgive me.  As in all my posts, I write down the thoughts as I get them.  End of story.  But this particular post seems to feel like it’s starting in the middle, somehow.  But I’m going with it, okay? Okay. : )

 

Do you trust Him on that dark road, where you can’t even see your hand in front of your face?  Do you trust Him when you’re never really quite sure if this is the last day you get?  Do you trust Him when your heart is broken–AGAIN?  You may believe IN God, but do you BELEIVE Him?  They are two very different things!

Trusting IN Him is something we do at the beginning.  And really, it’s more of a declaration than anything else…saying our trust or loyalty has shifted from someone or something else, to God.  But when pain begins to darken our doorstep, we are faced with a decision.  To trust Him, or not.  It’s one thing to say we trust IN Him, but it’s a whole other ball of wax to declare we TRUST Him!

This makes me think of Moses and the infamous Israelites.  They faced one overwhelming obstacle after another…each time with God intervening on their behalf.  When they fled Egypt, most of the people believed IN  God.  But somewhere along the road, if became less of a “crisis of circumstance” and more of a “crisis of belief.”

Have you been there?  Where you are facing trauma and tragedy , yet again, and you’re kind of wondering….why?

I’m going to say that it’s possible that God is using these trying times, over and over again, to bring you from a place of passive “belieft IN” to plain old BELIEF.  God is asking us, “Do you still only believe IN me?  Or do you finally BELIEVE Me?”

I’m ashamed to admit I am much like those Israelites, who found themselves in a “crisis of faith” just a few days after being saved from their enemies by the miraculous parting of the Red Sea, complaining of great thirst.  Because it wasn’t long ago, I was spared from death, a SECOND time!  Weeks later, I found myself being forced to answer the question for the millionth time: “Are you ready to trust me all over again? It’s clear you believe IN Me, but do you still BELIEVE Me?”

And I’m pretty sure that’s what this life is all about.  Building on how much we trust God, one crisis at a time.

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may about in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

Romans 15:13

I have a 2 and a half year-old son, Micah.  He LOVES Thomas the Train. He loves it to the point that I’m starting to cringe everytime I hear that familiar theme song.  In fact, I think I’ll probably have terrifying flashbacks of that annoying little ditty when I’m well into my seventies!  What can you do?  He loves it.

But there IS something of substance that bothers me about the show, besides the annoying song and the creepy little guy who’s always wearing a top hat!  ( What is up with that, anyway!)

No matter which engine is the star of a particular episode, they will almost always mention that all they want to be is a “very useful engine.”  And the show usually ends with the “top hat guy” affirming that the train was indeed a “very useful engine.”

The thing is, I’m pretty sure I spent most of my life seeking to be useful.  That is, what I could DO was more valuable than who I WAS. And that is a message I’m not comfortable with passing on.

Rich Mullins is recorded as saying the following: “When I was in Thailand, I met this missionary. And I was talking to her and I said, ‘You know, I just want the Lord to use me.’ And she said, ‘Well, forget it. God doesn’t need you for anything.  God doesn’t want to use you.  He wants you to love Him.’”

That is such a powerful statement for someone who thinks what they DO is what pleases God.  Now, I’m not saying that the positive things we do have no value to God…but I do believe that the only way He’s pleased by any of it is if it is out of sheer and uncontainable love for Him, that we’re just COMPELLED to act solely because we love Him and love others.

A lot of people say they are looking for their “purpose”.  What that means to me is that a lot of people want to find out what they are meant to DO for Him.  I used to say that often, too, until I learned that all He really wants is my love…whatever that looks like at a particular moment. And sometimes that is an act of service, but often it isn’t.  Sometimes, loving Him means forgiving, and sometimes it means sacrificing something you love.  A test I give myself on occasion is the following question: Will it be perfectly fine with me if no one ever knows what I’ve just done “for God”? If my answer is no, or a wishy-washy yes, I’ve got a love problem.

Think about it. Could God really ever NEED you, other than His need for you to love Him?  I think the One who created, um, everything probably has got it all under control if you don’t do your part. And when we remember that the only part we have to give is love, the pressure to feel useful is off!  We will always be exactly what He wants when love is our focus. 

What I want to be careful to include is that many of us are not effecting anyone’s lives, and that is NOT okay!  It means you have some work to do. Not “works”, but WORK.  You need to discover who Jesus is for yourself, and let the love He has for you begin to “work” in you, until you can’t help but do the things He compels you to do just purely out of LOVE!! Because one thing I know is that love is a verb, not an adjective.  For those of you who flunked grammar, love is an ACTION! It needs to be doing something…but that can’t happen until you love the One for whom you’re doing all these things.

Forget about being USEFUL. Instead, focus on being loved, and loving Him in return.

 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height– 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3: 17-19

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

John 13:34

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5: 18

I’ve been reflecting on this past year, probably like many others. When I look back and see all of the many challenges, trials, and pains, it’s actually pretty easy for me to be thankful.  Not because they happened, but because of who I now know through them.

Nobody enjoys experiencing pain.  But pain provides us with a unique opportunity to experience God in some of His many, many forms.

We get to know Him as the Comforter because we are in great need of comfort due to major loss or intense pain.  We know Him as the Great Healer when we trust Him to do what no doctor or counselor could ever accomplish. We get to meet the Prince of Peace because we are embroiled in chaos, conflict, and strife.  We know Him as the Faithful One when everyone else takes their turn in letting us down. We get to experience Him as the Everlasting Father when we need someone strong to hold onto.  We know Him as the Mighty Warrior when we are fighting battles left and right, and have completely run out of strength.  And we know Him as the Great Provider when we trust Him and Him alone to meet our most basic needs.

It’s BECAUSE of those very troubles and pains that we seek Him out, and discover brand new (to us) facets of His character!  And THAT’S  the secret to “giving thanks in all things.”  We can give thanks if we seek Him and find that He is ALWAYS enough!  Always EXACTLY  what we needed Him to be!

I have gotten to know Him the way I’ve described….and it wasn’t by having a year of fun in the sun!  It cost me blood (quite literally!), sweat, and MANY MANY tears. I had my fourth and fifth strokes this year, the last one wiping out all strength in my left leg.  I temporarily had to use a cane until I gained enough strength to walk without it. Then I began bleeding heavily for 73 days!  I had a hysterectomy, but due to complications brought on by being on blood thinners, I had internal bleeding, which required another surgery and several days in the ICU.  But that wasn’t the end!  A week later, I began bleeding through the stitches and had to have my third surgery in two and a half weeks!  So believe me when I say that I know Him as my Comforter, Healer, Prince of Peace, my Faithful One, Everlasting Father, Mighty Warrior, and my Great Provider!! 

And it’s BECAUSE  of who I now KNOW Him to be, I can praise Him in ANYTHING!  (I think! ) : )